The other day, I was talking with the father of one of my students after a tutoring session. We were discussing the challenges of protecting children from bad influences when he said something that stood out to me. He said that he felt like he was fighting the world through his child. This statement was intriguing to me because I empathize with his struggle, and I think it points to deeper truths.
Effectively raising children has been a challenge for as long as humans have been around. Many of these challenges were a matter of life and death. Disease, starvation, and violence were ever looming threats, especially for children not old enough to take care of themselves. Parents had to fight against an often harsh world to provide for their family. It is only relatively recently that modern advancements have allowed us to distance ourselves from the physical dangers of this world.
Of course, physical survival of children is not the only concern for parents. There is also the matter of moral survival. People have debated what constitutes a good life for thousands of years. If you asked parents today, many would say they want their children to be virtuous people who oppose evil and choose to help those around them.
For Christian parents, the goal of moral discipline is to help their children believe in Jesus and follow His commands. Christian instruction is also a matter of life and death, though it is of the soul rather than the physical body. Survival of the soul is even more important than physical survival as Jesus tells His disciples in Matthew 10:28 “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”
Whether you are secular or Christian, parents generally desire to see their morals and values passed down to the next generation. Without morals, what is there to pass down to children besides DNA and maybe a few material trinkets? I’d imagine there is a real sense of hope and satisfaction for parents who have seen their children go on to do good in the world.
Unfortunately, efforts to transmit morals and values to the next generation are often met with opposition from what we could call “the world.” These are the various influences and temptations that lead children away from what is virtuous. While the modern world certainly offers children much protection from physical harm, it has also opened up many opportunities for moral harm.
Consider the smartphone. These little rectangles we carry in our pockets allow us to access most human knowledge, talk to people around the world, play entire symphonies, and navigate the world. For all the benefits that smartphones provide, it’s obvious that there are many drawbacks, especially for the developing brains of children. Leaving children to consume nearly endless streams of mindless media has led to the rise of so-called “Ipad kids.” Even more insidious is the exposure of children to pornography, with some people being exposed as early as seven years old. Even with parental controls, it can be difficult to manage all the media a child is exposed to, especially if the child spends time with others whose parents don’t practice the same due diligence.
Let’s take a look at the schools children go to. The lessons children are forced to sit through are often just as mindless as the Youtube videos Ipad kids watch all day, but they are far less stimulating. Instead of being taught in a home by loving parents, children are raised in a prison-like environment surrounded by peers which may or may not be hostile to them. At best, teachers in government schools are well-intentioned, but outnumbered by students and overwhelmed by their needs. At worst, teachers in government schools are radical ideologues trying to indoctrinate children. Even private schools can leave parents in the dark as to how their children are being influenced. This is why I am an advocate for homeschooling as much as possible.
Another piece of the problem is that modern society isn’t well-structured for families. It would be nice if every family could have one parent at home to homeschool the children, but economic pressure is making this increasingly difficult. With both parents working, parents are often dependent on strangers who may or may not share their values to raise their children. Increasing costs of living means more hours of work are needed to sustain families, but of course this comes at the cost of less time and energy to pour into children.
Looking at all these challenges, it’s clear that there really is a fight to help children live healthy, virtuous lives. Wide is the gate that leads to destruction indeed. Though it can be overwhelming, recognizing that there is a battle is the first step towards fighting back. Thankfully, Christians can find hope and comfort in the Gospel.
What does the Gospel have to do with raising children? I would answer this question with another question: How does God fight against evil in the world? The Father fights the world through His Son, Jesus! It is because Jesus perfectly lived out His Father’s morals and did not sin, that He was able to sacrifice Himself for the sins of others and defeat evil forever. Evil may linger in this world for a while longer, but it will not last.
We cannot expect our children to live perfect lives. They will be led astray by the world and fail to make right choices from time to time. We ourselves fall short of moral perfection. However, we do not have to be discouraged. Though our children will struggle with the death throes of evil in this world, we can still put our trust in what Jesus has done.
If you are a parent fighting the world through your children, I encourage you to keep fighting. Do not allow yourself to become passive. Make the sacrifices necessary to raise your own children if it is possible. Find other ways to invest in your children if you cannot teach them yourself. Seek community with other parents who are fighting the world. And most importantly, trust in Jesus’ words from John 16:33: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
